THE BEAST IN ME !

Growing up, I would sit in front of the television so glued to one of Disney world’s all time classics.  It is the cartoon, “Beauty and the beast”.  Indeed, it was a fascinating piece and every time I saw the movie, I would trouble my mind so hard trying to understand why that pretty damsel chose that ugly creature! Did she see the future? May be yes!  Perhaps, No! she may have just been able to allow the man on the inside love her as well as manage the beast that everyone could see!

At a first glance, in most cases, the judgement would be, you look so beautiful/handsome, you have a calm look and personality too etc.  they are attracted to you. They step further to know what they have seen.  Sometimes, they after a while, still have this position about you.  They have been friends with you and think you could be recommended to some other persons.  They could vouch for you, diagnose your temperament and next action. 

Then, a bang takes place! they get shocked at your reaction to something ! you shout, roar, sound like if you were “Sango”- the mystery historic Yoruba legend , you would spit out fire and thunder!! They have never seen you like that before and so relating with you at such times becomes a task.  They are scared and so they end the relationship either through a moment of silence or creating a co-reaction so that both parties are on same level boiling at the top of their voice or emotions.
In managing situations like this, some people forget that understanding the other person is one very key thing to do.  This is not something that can be read about or taught about.  It takes the individuals involved to deliberately spend time to work out.  Interestingly, even the best authors and teachers of relationships have fallen victim to loosing their friends to a break in communication.  reacting to an action with a shout may not exactly be the best answer,  especially to the male folks.  I hear that every man has a minute of madness .  no one has satisfactorily proven if this 1 minute can be taken out every day or accumulated for a later date.  One thing that has never changed, is that everyone is allowed reciprocate with a roar when he isn’t cool with an action.

There is a king in every man.  As such he desired to be pampered or respected whenever his ego is bruised, personality tampered with and image dented.  The pretty damsel in the story mention above only needed to marry the beast for the prince in him to be born.  Like this damsel, gestures are not just enough but words.  The right word to a bruised ego may just be butter needed to pull the crumbs on the surface of bread together, thus, allowing its beauty spring up!.  The beast in every man is always going to be a temporary feature but when not managed properly, may prolong its ugliness or even make its stay permanent.  Good and softly spoken words are capable of healing faster than the most potent potions.  They bring out the best in any man.  They strengthen, they make you truly you!
Doctors argue that many times we stay long ill, we have not heard the right words of encouragements, moved with the right set of people etc.  to them encouragements and inspirations are principal to any healing process.  No one looks his best when bloated in anger except he is been flattered.  We must spend time to quell or suppress the beast in us or pull those beasts down in our friends once we notice them whirling up.  Listening to people is another key tool that can help bring down beasts.  Many times we are too fast to cast judgments and aspersions or verdicts.  We need to listen beyond the talker, get the un-spelt message as well as the intended.  Unfortunately, as Africans, we have built a system that helps us access information from the other person talking or acting even before the message is sent.  We assume and act on these assumptions.  We must learn to listen more and act less.  Process information on a slower platform so we can minimize the hurts on us and the receiver. 

Forgiveness, is what most moral and religious folks preach about, but I always recommend a model I call advance forgiveness.  This model postulates that even before the other person faults you, you already have let go so even when the person does fault, you have envisaged the happening and created a space in your heart to let go.  This takes care of the beast even before it rises.  It is a preventive model.  Although I must admit that this measure, comes with great difficulty and can only be administered after the individual has attained a high level of discipline. 

Warning-  When the beast in you shows up and stays longer than normal, you stand the risk of breaking down physically, and emotionally, turning down spiritual blessings, turning away God given relationships, contributing to the chaos and troubles on earth and running low on God inspired visions and ideas.  Identify the beast in you, and keep it under your feet where it belongs!

Till we meet again with another truth that illuminates in the darkest nights, keep the torch burning!